why we love children: saturday comics

We need brightness here in Music City. It is cold, dreary, and wet. Here are some funnies to hopefully brighten your day as they have mine (thanks mom!). If this doesn't brighten your day, then go back to bed and forget about it.


1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5 ) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. 'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

Have a wonderful and funny Saturday!

The photo above is of Cameron at 9 months.

busy girl

I haven't posted in awhile and I hate hate hate it when this much time goes between posts. Ahhhh...The hand gun class took a lot out of me - very tiring it was! It was lovely out that day though. It was 75 and sunny. I even got a little sun. I passed, btw.

I’ve been stitching a little here and there, but not as much as I’d like. I've started a cleaning regime just like my stitching rotation. A couple weeks ago I tore up my crafting/sewing area. It took me days and days to install two different sized wire shelves. I didn't even use a leveler, which my DH was completely surprised by and confused as to how I did it. I just eyeballed it and used a little clear cup of water as my leveler. (I didn't know where he put the actual leveler, so what's a girl to do...I improvised of course.) Finally the shelves are up, but nothing is on them.

Right now I’m going through my quilting/finishing fabrics and getting those organized, which is taking longer than I thought it would. I’m slowly getting my area “together”; finally! I just can’t work in a mess, you know. I have to have some order or I'll go nuts, and in this case nothing is getting done: NADA!!! I have so many thoughts whirling around in my mind and I can't act on them. Ugh! I don’t have a lot of stitching progress to show right now. I'm hoping by next week I'll have something worth bragging about - it's worth mentioning but not worth showing.

I punched a little last night and stitched a teeny tiny bit this afternoon, but I’ve been cleaning my house as if the Queen were coming and that’s taken me away from my stitching time. I’ve also been updating my mom’s master inventory list. She has quite the stash and I need to get it done for her so I’ve been working on that in the mornings mostly. I’m having some medical issues with my spine and neck. I’m in a bit of pain and discomfort and dealing with it is a top priority most days, but I manage to work around it.

Cameron still isn’t talking and I keep my fingers crossed hoping that one day he’ll just start talking - sound familiar to anyone? He’s been doing this jumping thing lately~so cute! He jumps in one place or runs and then jumps and yells “O-LAY!” but it sounds like ‘oyay' (his brother taught him this). Jose is struggling in school right now. He turns 12 at the end of May and I think this is part of it. He’s changing so much now and his attitude gets vile at times. He's a tween for sure and I don't know how to handle the pre-teen and teenage years. I'm just not ready for this yet!

The agenda tomorrow is to clean the kitchen and wash half the laundry - easy enough! The stitching agenda is my Christmas ornament. Of course, I also have my and mom's RR to stitch on and continue organizing my crafting area. I've been taking photos of my progress, so I'll post those at some point when there looks to be more light at the end of the tunnel. Jose's spring break starts Friday so he's excited that tomorrow is his last day for at least a week.

bang! bang!

Tomorrow I'm off to a hillbilly town over an hour west from Nashville to take my handgun carry permit class. I took the class in 2006 and passed, but never went and actually got my license to carry a weapon. In Tennessee after passing the qualifications you have 6 months to apply for the carry permit through the federal government and I didn't do that. I had a miscarriage during the six month period and lets face it, got depressed. Getting my carry permit wasn't at the top of my list so the six months expired and I could no longer get it.

Well, tomorrow is the day I go back and retake my test which lasts all day long. My DH has his carry permit along with a dozen other tactical and defense type qualifications under his belt. He is merely going with me to watch (and he's taking pictures too :( ~ he loves this stuff! Ever since DH became a United States citizen he has wanted to exhaust all his rights under the Constitution, and I don't blame him. It took at least 7 years of hard work and a ton of money to become a citizen.

Anyway, thankfully I already know how to handle a gun. I'm just retaking the class because 'its the law' in order for me to get a carry permit. I'll be shooting a Taurus PT 24/7 9 mm, which I love. It's a mean gun, easy to control, and comfortable. This is a photo of that gun. I'll probably go down to a revolver or a smaller caliber once I can carry because the Taurus is a big gun for a petite girl like myself. However, I like that this weapon holds 17+1 round which means if I should ever need to defend myself (Lord blessing that I won't ever have to) I have 18 tries. LOL (I know, no laughing matter really.) That being true and I am a good shot, it won't take that many to wound a person.

Let's switch gears! I have no photos to show of my stitching progress. There is some but not a whole lot. I've been trying to catch up on house cleaning, which I am being successful at. The laundry is complete, the house is dusted, the kitchen is clean, and tomorrow I shoot a pistol all day. Sunday resumes bed linens, towels and bathroom cleaning. So I can't say that this week has been wasteful. I started my block on Shores and it is difficult getting used to 40 ct linen - OMG! It's so pretty though. I've been reorganizing my craft area. I've installed 1 large wire shelf and am half way through with installing the second smaller shelf. I did something really neat with that white shelf I bought at the antique mall, but I'll show you that later.

In the meantime, enjoy your weekend. I'll talk soon!

current cleaning rotation

I have postponed housework and need to get back on board around here. Since my current rotation for stitching is coming along splendidly I decided to do the same thing for housework. I figure if I feel so accomplished with my needlework why not feel the same way about my home. I've been so busy organizing, crafting and chasing after Cameron I have neglected my home. I do pick up each room everyday because it's just part of the routine around here and Cameron is in on it. Nothing is ever left just sitting around waiting to be moved or picked up. But the housework of dusting and so forth need tending. Here's the Current Cleaning Rotation:

Sunday ~ bathroom, wash towels, wash sheets, sweep
Monday ~ day of rest
Tuesday ~ day of rest
Wednesday ~ sweep/vacuum, collect trash, mop
Thursday ~ kitchen, 1/2 laundry
Friday ~ 1/2 laundry, dust, sweep
Saturday ~ filing, office work

I think for now this will do ~ looks promising enough. :D

heart attack...four times over

After picking Jose up from school, me and the two boys went to Kroger to get a few items and a bag of dog food. When we got home I asked Jose to feed the dogs, but he needed to open the new bag bc we were out. Look at what I caught him using in order to get the bag of dog food open. I had a heart attack! Seriously!!! I couldn't believe this child. I nearly died! I ripped those suckers out of his hands (not really but I felt like it) and told him to get the kitchen scissors, not my embroidery scissors...EVER!!!! Ahhhhhhhh...

Today me and Cameron were at mom's house. We haven't been there in nearly 3 weeks so it was time for a day-long visit. I mentioned awhile back that me and mom are participating in a mother-daughter round robin. This is my first one. We decided to share-stitch Shores from Carriage House Samplings.

We are using 40 ct and I'm really excited! I haven't stitched on that high of count before; mom has though. We're using Needlepoint Silks and I've not used those before either; mom has though. Mom's done everything I think. She's such a precise stitcher. Her work is beautiful! If it weren't, she wouldn't be fortunate enough to work for Hoffman. I learned everything about stitching from her. I get to take my stab at this piece and I'm anxiously waiting until I put my needle to fabric on this one. Since I haven't added it to my current rotation I will add this as a "daily stick." I will stitch on this piece at least 1 hour per day. I have the next block to the right.

My mom recently stitched a birth sampler for Cameron's room. The design is from Sisters and Best Friends. It's so precious! I love it! I love how the frame hugs the piece, and I love, love, love that sweet little verse.

While at mom's I went through her quilting fabric stash and she allowed me to borrow some rather large pieces to cut my own from. She's so nice!

Here's where I had heart attack #2. These are full yards of fabric. The red fab belonged to my grandmother so there is no telling how old it is. My Aunt Pam might know the answer-Pam? The sampler fabric feels so soft ~ almost a sheen cotton or flannel; not sure. They are both so pretty. I can't wait to use a piece. :D

These are fat quarters she had. I was really looking for something similar to the red plaid, but came out with so much more. LOL The printed fab is so unique. I might make a pincushion out of this. The style is sewing so how fitting, ugh?!

And heart attack #3...

These 3 containers of "stuff" belonged to my grandmother. My grandma was quite the creative gal. She did everything besides quilt, but she had a ton of fabric. There is a lot of crochet supplies and a nice little collection of needles. I don't crochet, but I think I'll learn. The far right container is bunches of lace, ribbon and whatever else you can think of. This isn't all my mom has either. My mom will never get rid of this stuff, but my mom won't use it either. However, I will find some use and I too will NEVER give this away or get rid of it. It means too much to us. Anyway, the reason for the 3rd heart attack is that my mom let me have ALL this. I'm touched that she was able to part with it. She is so sentimental and it's difficult for her to part with anything that belonged to those that have passed. I am warmed that I get it!

The 4th and final heart attack (well, the first of four) was yesterday morning. We actually got snow! What the ____?!?!?! (pardon me) I was absolutely floored when we woke to this. We never get snow in March ~ not in Nashville, Tennessee. Anyhoo, it didn't last long enough for anyone to enjoy it though. The snow only stuck around for 2 hours and then puff, it was gone. This is about as much enjoyment as we got. Jose got creative for Cameron's sake.

Just a dusting really.

It's been freezing lately. Tonight's overnight low is 18 F and our high was only 35 F. Stay warm where ever you are and stitch til your heart's content. The kiddos are warmly tucked in and I think I'll head to bed and stitch on Monday's piece and maybe squeeze a little Shores in there too. :D

Gnight!

loooooong overdue (post)...and some funnies

I am 8 days overdue from posting our family fun-filled day getaway to the Tennessee Aquarium on Saturday, February 21st. There was ups and downs. There was crazy and calm moments. There was 'take me out back and shoot me' moments. There was sweaty moments (more of that later) and crappy moments (I can't even share this story with you). And lastly, there was moments we'll never forget and sadly I'd do this ALL over again! (Lord, what is wrong with me?)

First, a few things. Before starting this one-day road trip we had to drop my DH's truck off at Firestone for a diagnostic - it's acting funny. Then we needed to put oil in my car before making the 2-hour car drive so we stopped at the auto parts store to make a purchase. During our trip Cameron lost his pacifier in the back seat and Jose wasn't cooperating in finding it so DH almost turned the car around, but Jose changed his ways. We finally get to Chattanooga and by this time it was our lunch time. Chili's it was! We had a major episode there that we just cannot discuss, and if we did, I'd have to come to your state or country and kill you. (Not really, but lets assume so for my sake.)

Mommy to the rescue and we headed off to Wal-mart for a solution. Thankfully we had GPS and found one. And wouldn't you know, I found this awesome patchwork purse in the meanwhile and I just had to get it. (I bought that wooden bird as a souvenir from the aquarium and it was fitting for the occasion. I mean, after this trip I was a little coo-coo. You know 'one flew over the coo-coo's nest'.)

After purchasing our tickets we entered into the first building. Try to understand this, it was windy that day and a little chilly. We were herded in the doorway like a bunch of cows for one. Then we were forced to stand in front of a green screen and have our photo taken. My DH asked, "Do we have to?". My question exactly! If they had known what we just went through for the last 4 hours, and I wish you all could have known to the extent that we know), you would have felt the same way. This picture was horrible, but DH bought it anyway. I looked like a rock star with my hair over half the side of my face (wind blown) and my glasses didn't have enough time to go back to being glasses. I have the kind that tint with sunlight. Chris looked like he was on drugs. Jose looked "relieved" (can't tell you why), and Cameron looks like a deer in headlights.

Continuing on...Cameron had his first (of many I'm sure) meltdowns in front of the frolicking otters, among dozens of thrill seeking families. No offense, but while wrestling to get Cameron back in his seat I felt like Cameron was Travis the chimp that was shot by the police; only we didn't shoot him. No, we stuck a bottle in his mouth to shut him up...and it worked. Whew!!! It took me and DH 5 minutes to get that boy fastened into his stroller. We were sweating something terrible afterwards and our next stop ~~~ tropical world. Yay!!! (not)

Heading east through Tennessee is breathtaking. The mountains and hills are gorgeous and relatively it's an uphill drive a lot of the way. I took photos of us driving up the mountainside. Sorry for the dirty windshield, but the mountains were to0 nice to pass up.

Up, up, up we go!

There was still ice on these cliffs. It was so pretty! But watch out for falling rocks.

The most beautiful part about driving up is that it winds several times. It's just really lovely when the mountains break apart and there is open valleys. Just stunning!

Once at the top, there are several different signs. There is a 6% grade downhill and it is dangerous if you're not careful. Trucks have to be on the right side and they go really slow.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The brown raised dirt on the side of the road is called a "Runaway Truck Ramp". No need to explain that one to you. Scary stuff.

Weeeeeeeeeee

Whew! Finally made it to the bottom and we're just about to downtown Chattanooga.

We had Chili's for lunch when we arrived in Chattanooga and this was the first time Cameron sat in a booster seat. He usually sits in a high chair. He had a great time in a big boy chair. Jose didn't have such a remarkable time at Chili's. I've promised him I wouldn't divulge his little mishap. (Just between you and me, it wasn't so 'little'--shh!)

In warmer weather the small rocks are filled with water and kids really enjoy trying to pass over them without getting wet...and of course, it never works. They get wet. Jose doesn't care though; he'll go dry or wet. Hey Mom!

DH: Jose, look! It's a meteor coming our way!
Jose: Nawwwwwwww! Hold me, Chris!
Dude in yellow back pack: Ugh, where?

Mr. Puffer fish - I was in love with this little guy!

ALL MY GUYS!

A view of the Tennessee River from the aquarium.

My big baby! The rocking chairs were made from recycled milk cartons.

These sting rays were so cool. I have never seen any sting ray like this. They were fresh water sting ray, and I didn't know they even existed. Learn something new everyday.

We didn't know this kid, but this giant butterfly landed on his head before he was leaving. I didn't like this. I scurried out the door. I don't want that Sasquatch of a butterfly landing on me. What if it spits? LOL

These little penguins were one of my highlights. I loved this exhibit. They were popping up everywhere and then leaping back into the water. It was freezing inside this place too. Duh!

JAWS anyone!?!?

Jose being Jose. He's such a Joker!

Since no flash was allowed, I had Jose turn his camera's red light on and then I took my picture with my camera. It's an octopus if you can't tell. Imagine that thing sucking on your face!!! OMG!

Yummy - wanna come home with us Mr. Crab?

I know this is difficult to see but there was no flash photography allowed and I wanted to obey the rules and not hurt the fishes. What I'm trying to photograph are the 5 tanks of hundreds of jellyfish inside these tank tubes. The tanks changed colors every few seconds and it was really fascinating. After I took this, I felt like I was in the movie Alien. It was a bit creepy actually...and I have a fear of water. (Ahh...where's my flame thrower, honey?)

WARNING!!! Excuse me???

I took this photo of the shark and the sting ray (photo below) while underneath the giant tank they were in. It was really really neat and a first experience for all of us.

This was the quietest they had been ALL day long.

C'mon...gimme a wet fishy kiss!

What does Cameron do best??? Climb obviously!

When we were leaving, outside was a horse drawn carriage with a Dalmation, of all things, purched up on the seat. It was really cute! They stirred quite the audience from the street.

Jellyfish video below...please click to start.

Thanks for putting up with me and my family and sticking around for ALL these photos. Believe me...I could have wasted even more of your time by posting all 150, but I'll let you get back to stitching and crafting. :D Wished you could have been there! LOL LOL LOL LOL (not)